Do your managers feel confident when it comes to having one to one conversations with their teams? If not, they are definitely not alone. Research shows that around 69 percent of managers feel uncomfortable communicating with their employees, and just 6 percent feel confident having open and honest performance conversations.
These one to one meetings are often one of the most powerful tools a manager has. When handled well, they help to build trust, improve motivation and engagement, and support better performance. But when they are done poorly, or not done at all, they can leave people feeling disconnected, unheard and uncertain about their place in the team.
This article explores how you can support your managers to hold better one to ones, using practical and human approaches that genuinely improve the way people feel at work.
Why these conversations matter more than ever
One to one conversations are not just a nice idea or something to fit in when there’s time. They play a big part in shaping team culture, influencing how people show up day to day, and making sure everyone knows what is expected of them and how they are doing.
They also help people feel seen and supported. Research from Gallup shows that only 21 percent of employees feel engaged at work, and poor communication is one of the biggest contributors to that. When people do not feel safe speaking up, small problems can easily grow into bigger ones. That is where regular, well-handled one to ones make a real difference.
Five conversations every manager should be having
To create a workplace where people can thrive, managers need to be having regular conversations that feel meaningful and relevant. These five themes are a great place to start:
1. Goal setting
One of the biggest causes of stress at work is not being clear on what you are working towards. A good one to one is a space where managers and employees can work together to set clear, ambitious but achievable goals, and then keep checking in on progress. These goals should always be linked back to the wider business direction, so everyone can see how their role contributes to the bigger picture.
2. Development
Most people want to grow in their role, but they do not always feel supported to do so. Gallup found that only 19 percent of people say their manager helps them plan how to reach their goals. This is a missed opportunity. One to ones are the perfect space to talk about what someone wants from their career, what they are learning, and what might help them take the next step.
3. Motivation
Everyone is motivated by different things, and the only way to understand what truly drives someone is to ask. Some people might be motivated by career progression or recognition, while others might value having space and flexibility outside of work. Rather than trying to guess, managers need to create space in one to ones to explore what matters most to each person.
4. Wellbeing
How someone feels will always affect how they perform. But if managers are not asking, they may never know when someone is struggling. Only 14 percent of employees say they feel able to talk to their manager about stress or mental health. That needs to change. One to ones are an important opportunity to check in, listen properly, and offer support without judgement.
5. Reviews
Performance reviews should not come as a surprise, or feel like something to dread. When feedback, reflection and praise are built into regular one to ones, the end of year review becomes part of a bigger picture. It should be a helpful summary, not the only time someone hears how they are doing.
How to structure a one to one conversation
Even the most well-intentioned one to one can fall flat without a bit of structure. That is where a simple framework, like OpenBlend’s conversation funnel, can really help. Their four step approach helps both managers and employees prepare, stay focused, and leave the conversation with something clear to take away.
Step one: Organise
If a one to one keeps getting moved, or is squeezed into a ten-minute slot between meetings, it loses its value. These conversations work best when they are regular, protected and expected. That consistency helps people feel safe raising issues or asking for support.
Step two: Prepare and focus
Both sides should have the chance to contribute to the agenda. It helps if there is a rough idea of what will be covered, and a clear way to start the conversation. A good opening question can help set the tone and show that this is a two-way dialogue, not just a check-up.
Step three: Guide
This is where coaching techniques come into play. Tools like the GROW model are useful here, helping managers break down a topic into what the goal is, what the current reality looks like, what obstacles might get in the way, and what actions could move things forward.
Step four: Follow through with action
A one to one is only useful if something changes as a result of it. Actions should be clear, realistic and timebound, with both parties agreeing on what will happen next. A good question to ask is, how committed do you feel to this on a scale of one to ten? If the answer is low, the manager should dig into why, and explore what support might be needed.
Time to shift how we think about conversations
Many people associate one to ones with problems or poor performance, but the best conversations are the ones that happen when things are going well too. They are a space to reflect, to learn, to celebrate progress, and to bring new ideas to the table.
When managers are supported to lead honest, open and regular conversations, everyone benefits. People feel more connected, more motivated, and more likely to speak up when something is not right.
Support for line managers and HR teams
At Popoki HR, we work with businesses of all shapes and sizes to help managers feel more confident in the people side of their role. That might mean training line managers in how to hold effective one to ones, supporting leaders with coaching techniques, or designing a performance framework that actually works in practice.
If you would like a conversation about how we can help, get in touch. We are always happy to chat.
Contact us to book a free consultation